It is so small that one would think
It could be cleaned in just a wink!
But there’s a lot of work to do
When cleaning house within a shoe.
From the book of Whimsey Whims

The dreadful day was drawing near. The Teenie Weenie men watched the Lady of Fashion for signs of the annual Teenie Weenie house cleaning. They all hated the confusion that followed in the wake of soap suds and Teenie Weenie women.

They knew the worst when the women collected a thimbleful of soap and cut many pieces from a man's old handkerchief into cleaning cloths about the size of postage stamps. The old shoe in which the little people live was kept spotlessly clean at all times and the Teenie Weenie men couldn't understand the necessity of an annual Spring cleaning.

"It's just one of those funny things about women," the Turk remarked.

"We will be eating our meals on the back porch for two days," complained the Policeman, who is mighty fond of his regular meals. "There's absolutely no need of all this extra cleaning."

"Yes, the house is always clean and I suppose it really doesn't need the extra cleaning," answered the General, "but it gives the women a lot of pleasure, and so I suppose we must put up with it."

"I don't get any pleasure out of beatin' rugs," growled the Dunce, who took out his dislike of the task by generally giving the rugs a beating that easily earned him the title of Teenie Weenie rug-beating champion.

When the women really started cleaning house they kept the men so busy they hadn't even time to growl. Every last Teenie Weenie man was put to work. Even the Policeman had to help and the General took down pictures and helped carry out the heavy pieces of Teenie Weenie furniture. Curtains came down, rugs were hung out for beating, and every mattress and pillow was put out to lie in the sunshine. Skippy, the chipmunk, was hitched to the Teenie Weenie cart and nearly a teacup of water had to be hauled from the creek, for it takes a lot of water to clean a shoehouse. All the walls, the ceiling and floors were thoroughly scrubbed and considerable washing was done outside, too.

"Now," said the Lady of Fashion, as she sank into a Teenie Weenie chair after everything had been cleaned and put back in place, "isn't it lovely to be nice and clean?"

"Yes," answered the Policeman solemnly. "It will be lovely until it has to be done all over again next year."

The Teenie Weenies were terribly disappointed and the Lady of Fashion was on the verge of tears. It was plain to all the little people that there would be no Easter party this year. Hens' eggs were very high priced and the hens were so independent they were positively nasty. They cackled right in the General's face when he offered 70 grains of corn, 8 grasshoppers (the grasshoppers to be paid in season) and 18 grains of wheat for one egg. That was all the Teenie Weenies could afford to pay, and since no hen in the neighborhood of the Teenie Weenie village would lay an egg for that price, the little folk had to give up the idea of an Easter party. The yearly Teenie Weenie Easter party was one of the big events of the whole neighborhood near the village. The little people always bought a hen's egg, boiled it whole and invited all their small animal and bird friends to help eat it. The Teenie Weenie Cook announced that he had a little dried egg left, but Easter wouldn't be Easter without a fresh egg for the feast.

The Chinaman decided he might be able to do something about getting an egg. The little chap speaks a number of fowl languages and he pleaded with the hens to sell the Teenie Weenies an egg at a reasonable price, but the haughty creatures merely shrugged their wings and walked away. The Chinaman even asked a duck who had always been friendly, but the duck was in the midst of a bilious attack and couldn't think of laying an egg. Finally, the Chinaman decided to ask the birds for an egg.

"Half a loaf is better than none," he argued to himself. "We can't have a party but a bird's egg will be enough for the Teenie Weenies."

The Chinaman speaks robinese perfectly, and he argued a robin into laying an egg for two fine fat worms. All the little folk were overjoyed with the bargain and they brought out their tiny picks and shovels and went to work digging for worms. They chose a spot back of the Teenie Weenie workshop and after considerable digging they exposed a worm. The robin caught the worm in its beak and slowly and skillfully pulled it out of the ground, thereby saving the Teenie Weenies considerable digging. It didn't take long to unearth another worm and then the robin promptly retired behind the town hall and laid an egg.

The Cook carried if to the Teenie Weenie kitchen and on Easter it was cooked and served to the little people, who all say that robin eggs are almost as good as chicken eggs.

There had been considerable discussion about mouseback riding among several of the Teenie Weenies. The Dunce was mainly responsible for most of the talk, for he had unexpectedly found a piece of cheese and cheese can easily be converted into mouseback rides. The Dunce had been spending his cheese on mouseback riding and he now considered himself a champion mouseback rider. He boasted a great deal and that brought on long and heated arguments among various Teenie Weenies. The Teenie Weenie Cowboy is a fine mouseman, but he never entered into the arguments, although the Dunce said some rather slighting things about his riding. The Dunce boasted so much the Cowboy finally agreed to a mouseback race. Two very fast mice, who lived in the cellar of one of the big houses near the Teenie Weenie village, were chosen for mounts by the two little mousemen and arrangements were made for the race.

The race was to be held in the cellar where the mice lived. One morning the Dunce and the Cowboy, carrying their tiny mouse saddles and followed by a number of the Teenie Weenies, went to the cellar to hold the race. On his stout little shoulders, the Turk carried a huge piece of cheese nearly as big as an acorn. This was to be given as the prize to the mouse that won the race.

A course was laid out around the cellar and over an old scrubbing brush that lay on the floor near some bottles. The mice seemed satisfied after sniffing the cheese and they allowed the Dunce and the Cowboy to put on the saddles and bridles. The riders were to race three times around the course and the first mouse to jump the scrubbing brush for the third time was to be the winner. Each mouse was confident that he would win the cheese.

When the riders were ready the Cook gave a signal and the mice leaped off around the course. The first two times around, the mice leaped the scrubbing brush almost together, but on the last jump the Dunce's mouse cleared the brush first by half a tail's length and he was declared the winner.

The Dunce boasted constantly after the race, but all that stopped in a few days when a mouse he was riding ran away with him. The Dunce was thrown off the mouse's back and considerably banged up. He has been rather meek since then and now there is no more boasting about mousemanship, because the Cowboy is too modest to go around telling everybody that he is the champion rider in the Teenie Weenie village.

Quite a while ago the Teenie Weenies found a small gold wrist watch in the lane that runs near the Teenie Weenie village. They tried to find the owner, but even with the help of Tilly Titter the English sparrow, the respectable mice and Skippy, the chipmunk, they never could find who owned the watch. The Teenie Weenies kept the watch in their workshop and there it lay waiting for its owner to claim it.

The Teenie Weenies have little use for clocks. In fact, they do not have clocks and watches, for they are able to tell the time of day or night by the sun and various other signs. The Teenie Weenie Cook says he doesn't need a clock to tell him when to cook the Teenie Weenie meals because the Dunce's appetite is as good as any clock made. However, some of the little people thought it would be nice to use the watch for a clock in the Teenie Weenie shoe house.

"A clock will just make a lot more work," argued the Old Soldier with a wooden leg. "We'll have to wind it every night."

"But if will be so nice to hear it tick," put in The Lady of Fashion. "A clock has such a cozy sound."

"Yeah," said the Old Soldier. "You'll soon get tired of the ticking. If will make such a noise no one will be able to sleep at night and everybody will be grumpy all the time."

"Well, can't we try it?" pleaded the Lady of Fashion. "I think it would be real fashionable to have a gold clock hung over the fireplace in the living room."

"Okay," answered the Old Soldier. "I'll put it up and we can give it a trial.

The Old Soldier made some special hooks to hold the watch in place on the Teenie Weenie mantel. When the hooks were ready the Cook and the Sailor carried the watch into the shoe house and it was bolted in place over the mantel just as the Lady of Fashion wanted it.

The ticking watch did make a lot of noise. It could be heard way out in the kitchen and some of the little folk had to cover up their tiny heads with their bedclothes so the ticking wouldn't keep them awake. The men soon grew tired of winding the watch, for it had to be taken down each night and wound with a Teenie Weenie stillson wrench. After a week of the watch, the Teenie Weenies decided they could get along without it and it was carried back to the workshop, where it still lies near a scrap pile of bobby pins, paper clips and broken darning needles.

Ginky was never happier than when he had been locked up in the Teenie Weenie jail. There the lazy mouse could sleep day and night, and as long as he was locked up, the Teenie Weenies had to feed him. He had been handled rather roughly when he tried to steal a frog ham out of the Teenie Weenie smokehouse. Gogo, who had caught the thieving mouse, had given him a sound thrashing. When Ginky had awakened the next morning in the fruit jar which the Teenie Weenies use for a jail, he complained of pains in his tail.

The Teenie Weenie Doctor visited the jail with his tiny medicine case and he found, on examination, that the mouse had several fractured bones in his tail. The Doctor set the bones and encased the injured tail in a cast.

"He'll have to be quiet for a couple of weeks," the Doctor said, "and he must be given better food than the regular prison ration, too."

That suited Ginky because, being fond of good food, he didn't like the regular Teenie Weenie daily prison ration of two grains of dried corn. Even though Ginky had been extremely troublesome to the Teenie Weenies, the little folk felt sorry for the injured mouse and they supplied him with a nice soft bed and three full meals every day. The Teenie Weenie Cook baked lima beans for Ginky, gave him baked raisins stuffed with butternut meats and often sent an acorn shell basket of fried doughnuts over to the jail.

Ginky was delighted with his prison life and he confided to the Policeman that he would recommend the Teenie Weenie jail to all his mouse friends. However, even with all the good food, and in spite of the easy life he was living, Ginky grew restless and asked to be let out of jail. The Doctor agreed that a little exercise might be helpful, so the mouse was let out for walks occasionally.

Walking around wasn't as pleasant as Ginky had expected, for it was rather difficult to get about with the heavy cast on his tail dragging along behind him. Finally, Gogo had a bright idea. By sawing off pieces from a lead pencil, punching out the lead and using the pieces of pencil for wheels, he built a little trailer for Ginky's tail. The cast was lashed to the trailer and Ginky was able to walk with ease.

Ginky was soon well enough to be sent away, but the mouse was quite contented with his easy life. Not until the little people threatened to call in Tompkins, the cat, were they able to rid themselves of Ginky.

The supper dishes had been washed and put away. The Teenie Weenie Cook dropped a soap flake into an acorn shell dish, filled it with hot water from the cook stove tank and took down several soiled Teenie Weenie dish towels from the rack against the kitchen wall.

"I have to wash out these towels," the Cook told Gogo, who was warming his hands at the stove, "and I wonder if you'll help me out by going to the smokehouse and fetching in a half ham that's hanging near the door. We haven't a bit of meat in the house for breakfast."

"Suah," answered Gogo, "Ah'll get de ham." He reached for a Teenie Weenie lantern that stood behind the kitchen door, for it was dark outside. He took off the chimney, filled the cherry seed bowl with a drop of oil and lit the wick at the stove.

The Cook took the tiny smokehouse key out of a cherry seed vase on the wall shelf and handed it to Gogo, who went out humming a Teenie Weenie song. When he reached the smokehouse, made from a tomato can, Gogo unlocked the tiny padlock, stepped into the can and removed the half ham from the smoke rack. Just as he took it down, he heard a noise outside.

"Who dat?" he said, peering through the door. There was no answer and no one was in sight. He stepped out of the can, set the lantern and the ham on the ground and was about to close the door when he heard soft footsteps. He swung around just in time to see Ginky snatch up the ham. Gogo made a flying tackle and caught the mouse as he started off.

Now Ginky is a very daring mouse but he would never try any of his tricks when a number of Teenie Weenies were together. Seeing Gogo alone, he thought he could steal the ham but he soon discovered he had made a very grave mistake, for Gogo is mighty strong and as bold as a weasel. In no time the mouse was flat on the ground, with Gogo sitting on his neck. The Teenie Weenie grabbed the mouse's long whiskers and gave them a mighty twist, which made Ginky squeal at the top of his mouse voice.

"Dat's right," grinned Gogo. "Ah don't want to waste mah voice callin' de police. A little louder next time."

He gave the whiskers another twist and Ginky let out a wild squeal that brought the Policeman and the Dunce running to the spot. Gogo explained what had happened and with Gogo and the Policeman grasping the mouse's whiskers and the Dunce holding onto Ginky's tail, they marched him off to the pint fruit jar which served the Teenie Weenies for a jail.

A certain man who lives in one of the big houses near the Teenie Weenie village has been puzzled lately by happenings around his home. First, he noticed that a piece had been sawed from a cake of soap in his bathroom. There were saw marks on the soap and there was a tiny heap of soap dust where the piece had been sawed off. The man thought that mighty peculiar, but what happened to his shoes was even more puzzling.

One morning the man carried a pair of shoes out onto the back porch, expecting to polish them. When he came home from work that night he found his shoes beautifully polished. He noticed that small spots of the polish on the porch floor had the appearance of very small footprints. He picked up one of the shoes and examined it carefully. He noticed what appeared to be tiny fingerprints. "Of course," he said to himself, "they are too small for fingerprints. No one has hands that small." However, they were finger marks - Teenie Weenie finger marks - and this is how they happened to be there on the man's shoes.

Some time ago the Teenie Weenies were entirely out of soap and so they went to the man's house while he was away and cut off a small piece with their tiny crosscut saw. The Teenie Weenies only wanted to borrow the bit of soap, but they couldn't get soap to repay the man. Then they decided to even up the matter in some other way. The little people kept a close watch on the place for a chance to repay their debt and finally the Sailor, who was watching the house from behind a bush near by, saw the man leave his shoes and polish on the porch. When he went off to work the Sailor reported the matter to the Teenie Weenies, who decided they could pay for the borrowed soap by polishing the shoes.

The little folk carried Teenie Weenie ladders, brooms and a mop to the porch. They swept off the dust from the shoes with the Teenie Weenie brooms and the mop was used for a swab to rub on the polish. The Dunce insisted on dabbing on the polish and he got almost as much of the blacking on himself as he did on the shoes. The other Teenie Weenies rubbed the shoes with tiny rags and after several hours of hard work they had polished the shoes until they shone like mirrors. Of course the little people had very dirty hands when they were through with the work and the Dunce had to have a regular bath, but two thimbles of hot water and a piece of soap not much bigger than a large grain of coffee made the entire tribe fresh and clean.

There hadn't been a single soap flake in the Teenie Weenie village for weeks. The Chinaman had washed the clothes the best he could, but the tiny garments soon began to have a gray look because it is impossible to make clothes white and clean without soap. The little folk had hunted everywhere for the bits of soap that big people usually throw away, but the big people were short of soap, too. The Teenie Weenies could have made soap if they had had grease, but grease was just as hard to find because soap is made from grease.

The Dunce didn't mind the lack of soap. He would rather have dirty hands and face than to go to the trouble of washing, but the rest of the little people, who really like to be clean, minded it a lot. Finally, the General called a meeting in the town hall to discuss the matter.

The Turk reported that he had seen a large piece of soap in a wash bowl in one of the big houses near the Teenie Weenie village and he suggested that they borrow some. The General spoke against that because he had always warned against taking things from big people's houses.

"All we need is a piece about the size of a pecan," argued the Turk. "The big people won't miss that and it will keep us clean for a long time."

After a great deal of talk, the Teenie Weenies agreed that if would be all right to borrow a small piece of the soap, which they would repay in the future. Several of the little men went to the house when the big folk were away. They climbed up a bath towel to the wash bowl and began sawing off a small piece of soap with their Teenie Weenie crosscut saw. When they had cut through the soap as far as they could with the saw, they tried to pry off the piece with a Teenie Weenie ax. Just as they broke off the piece, the cake of soap skidded off into the bowl, which was nearly full of water.

"We'll have to get that soap out of the water," said the Old Soldier. "If we leave it there it will soak up in the water and be lost."

It was decided that the best way to save the soap would be to remove the stopper and let the water run out of the bowl. The men tried to pull up the stopper by the chain that was fastened to it, but they couldn't move it. It was necessary to fetch a Teenie Weenie block and tackle, and even then it took all their Teenie Weenie strength to pull it free. It took an awful lot of work to get that tiny piece of soap, but little people have to work just as hard for little things as big people have to work for big things.

The little heating stove which the Teenie Weenie men had made for the Lady of Fashion's bedroom burned merrily during the winter. It did burn up a great deal of firewood but the Teenie Weenies never suspected that the tiny stove was causing the Lady of Fashion a lot of trouble. She did mention the matter in an offhand way but even Teenie Weenie men are as slow as big men to catch onto a woman's hint.

The two thimbles made an excellent stove but it had to be constantly stuffed with firewood. Match sticks cut into convenient lengths were generally used and match stick firewood doesn't last long even in a thimble stove. The Lady of Fashion mentioned coal as a fine fuel. She mentioned it often as the days passed but none of the little men seemed to show any interest in the subject. The little lady often put on her tiny caterpillar fur coat and took long walks. After one of these walks she reported that she had found a perfectly lovely lump of coal and she mentioned the lump of coal so often it finally occurred to the Cowboy that there was something behind her remarks. What do you want coal for?" he bluntly asked.

"I dearly love my little stove," answered the Lady of Fashion, "but it takes most of my time to keep the fire going with wood. I believe coal would burn longer and wouldn't have to be replaced so often."

"We'll get the coal for you," answered the Cowboy, "but why didn't you say you wanted coal?"

"I've been trying to do that for a long time," answered the Lady of Fashion modestly.

The Cowboy only grunted but he set off the next morning with several Teenie Weenies to fetch the coal the Lady of Fashion had found. There wasn't enough snow on the ground to use a sled and so the Cowboy hired Skippy the chipmunk to pull the Teenie Weenie cart. The lump of coal was about as large as a small orange and it took a lot of work to load it onto the cart. On the way home the Dunce insisted on riding and just as the cart passed under a bush a dog barked in the distance.

Now chipmunks are very nervous. At the first bark Skippy stood up on his hind feet and stared in the direction of the bark. That tipped the cart backward and the coal rolled off, breaking the end gate and tumbling the Dunce into the snow. After more hard work the men rolled the coal back onto the cart and hauled it to the shoe house where it was broken up into pieces suitable for a thimble stove. Now the Lady of Fashion is quite happy.

After being arrested for breaking into the Teenie Weenie town hall Ginky and his light pawed friend were locked up in the pint glass fruit jar which the little folks use for a jail. It wasn't very pleasant there for the greedy mice received only two grains of corn a day and after a few days of being shut up they finally became very humble. They offered to lead upright lives if the Teenie Weenies would set them free and they crossed their mousy hearts to prove their good intentions. Finally the Teenie Weenies set the mice free but in no time the rascals were up to their old tricks as the Teenie Weenies learned from Tilly Titter their morning newspaper.

The English sparrow flies all about the neighborhood of the Teenie Weenie village and nothing misses her bright little eyes. Almost every morning she brings the gossip of the neighborhood to the little folks and that is most welcome for Teenie Weenies do not get about often during the cold weather when deep snow covers the ground.

One morning the Teenie Weenie Cook put on three dried peas to boil while he waited for the two pans of Teenie Weenie bread to bake in the tiny stove oven. The Lady of Fashion began washing up the hazel nut mixing bowl and the Policeman, who had smelled the baking bread, strolled into the kitchen just as some one began tapping on the window.

"That's probably Tilly," said the Cook, "open the window."

The Policeman opened one of the tiny windows and Tilly Titter popped her head through the opening. The sparrow giggled and twittered so much the Teenie Weenies could hardly understand her chirping but finally they made out that Ginky had gotten into trouble again.

"'E was mussin' around in one of the big 'ouses and 'e fell into a jar of molasses," she said. "'E's all stuck up and can't get the bloomin' stuff off 'is fur. 'E's licked himself off as far as 'e can reach 'imself but there's a lot of 'imself 'e can't reach and 'e's been rollin' in the snow tryin' to get that off."

The Cook took a pan of bread from the oven and dumped the loaves out onto the kitchen table. "Serves him right," grinned the Cook. "Ginky and his pals are lazy thieving mice."

"It's too bad it isn't summer time," giggled Tilly.

"How's that?" asked the Policeman.

"If Ginky 'ad all that molasses on 'imself in the summer time the bees would be after 'im aplenty," answered Tilly.